11 March 2009

Remaining Beatles Reunite for David Lynch’s New Age Benefit

On April 4, at the Radio City Music Hall, Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr — former members of obscure pop group, The Beatles — will be reuniting for the first time since 2002 for David Lynch’s "Change Begins Within" concert, which benefits his foundation for "Consciousness-Based Education and World Peace."

David Lynch, presumed ghostwriter for such sites as timecube.com as well as numerous Dr. Bronner’s soap bottles, has also started his own foundation based on Sting’s body movements and transcendental meditation. Turns out David Lynch doesn’t only enjoy midget dream sequences, hate the iPhone, make really bizarre commercials full of floating blue lips, but is also a leading promoter of transcendental meditation being taught in elementary schools.

The show also features performances by Donovan, Eddie Vedder, Moby, Sheryl Crow, Ben Harper, Bettye LaVette, Paul Horn, and My Morning Jacket’s Jim James. My only hope is that Donovan and Sheryl Crow dress up as John and George and get into a fist fight/make-out session with Paul and Ringo while David Lynch’s oversized head hovers 10-feet above the stage, green and holographic, singing "Maxwell’s Silver Hammer" to itself in reverse while Moby and Eddie Vedder waltz across the stage complementing each other profusely. Then Bettye LaVette will crawl on stage, smell a bottle of perfume, scream, laugh, cry, and fully climax, before she flies off, stage right, at which point Ben Harper wakes up in a cold sweat, relieved it was all just a dream. "Or was it?" he asks himself as he looks around to find that Paul Horn and Jim James are lying next to him, scandalously, in his California King.

Come on. It’s entirely possible that this could happen, and you know it.

www.tinymixtapes.com

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